The moment you join you will get an email with access to your portal with all the courses, all the lessons, pdfs and video trainings. You'll be invited into the Facebook group community to begin connecting with all the events, and you will see where questions/answers are located. Please give up to 24 hours to be added to the community.

There are 4 ways to work with Derek.

1. On the main web page you can set up a private relationship strategy zoom video call with Derek as an individual or as a couple. This is not just an introduction, but a full session.

2. Join The Relationship Lab, a group for everybody wanting to master their relationships.

3. Join Attachment University, a full program to learn how to coach couples.

4. As a member of The Relationship Lab and/or Attachment University, you will be invited to many extra online and in person events.

Part of Derek's dream is to give away the knowledge at as low of a cost as possible. Excellent couples counseling has become cost prohibitive in most of the world. For in-person events, there will be additional costs to show up at each event. The cost will be determined partially by the venue, and partially by guest teachers. Derek will provide surprise online zoom sessions from time to time, and there will not be a charge. There will be some specialty groups, such as in-person couples groups, and practitioner supervision groups, that will incur additional charges.

Relationships are difficult enough. The intentions of these programs are to help give you relief, at your own pace. There are live events each week. Come to the ones live at your leisure, or watch the replays as you like. We are here to remove any sense of becoming overwhelmed in your life. There is plenty of time for integration and rest, and there is no requirement nor expectation placed on you. Even though there are over 100 lessons, most couples, and singles, whether in new relationships, or practicing for future relationships, or long-term relationships, find the 3 or 4 lessons they like and keep repeating them, such as The Candlelight Ceremony.

Your membership and access to the online content and online live events will be available during the billing cycle you have been successfully charged for. Note that if you cancel the course, and rejoin, you will be charged the price at that time.

Yes. Derek and the Understand Each Other Team will be regularly monitoring the community and helping to ensure that it remains a loving and respectful environment where we can all feel safe and supported. Our guidelines restrict promotional materials, and encourage kind and supportive interactions. Offensive or hostile behavior toward other participants is not permitted. If you have been witness to Derek's handling of comments on his personal Facebook page, the interactions will be similar. Derek will always model vulnerability whenever possible with participants. Our antagonism with each other comes from our pain. This group is here to heal us.

You can easily cancel at any time from within the my account section of your membership dashboard. You can also instantly switch from monthly to annually, update your billing information, and change your account info.

You may join The Relationship Lab as a couple and just have the one monthly or yearly payment. Two partners in an open relationship, as a couple, or primary partners, that will always be on the zoom meetings together in the same room, can join under one account, with one monthly or yearly payment. People in polyamorous or open relationships, with multiple partners not living together that will sometimes be in different locations during the zoom events, must each have separate accounts. Note that ANY TIME YOU WANT TO, you can have somebody with you on the live call watching in the same location, and then possibly work with Derek directly. This means you can have a romantic partner, friend, family member or anybody that you would like to do work with live, but they must be in the same location with you.

If you join the Practitioner training as a couple, you can join under one account. Instructions about how to both be notified about groups lessons, events and other information will be given when you join in your welcome letter.

If you sign up as a couple, please email derek@understandeachother.com to make the special request to allow both of you into the Facebook group. The link to the Facebook group will be sent to you in your welcome letter.

Derek has worked with every race, religion, sexual orientation, relationship style and gender-fluidity scenario. As he guides people back to vulnerability, the differences described here are only brought into awareness if they are necessary for the two (or more) people involved. If a couple, for example, had struggles in their relationship based on racial inequality, Derek would utilize this information to help the couple. Derek is aware that privilege can be based on a variety of social identities such as race, gender, religion, socioeconomic status, ability status, sexuality, age, education level and more. In the live Zoom calls it will be encouraged for people to state (and place next to their name) the pronouns that are important to them. Derek is also aware that privilege can be experienced on personal, interpersonal and institutional levels. With the prime focus on vulnerability and connection, Derek and The Understand Each Other Team are always concerned with helping people feel understood, and coming back into connection.

While these modalities are all small subsets of Derek's training, note that they will also be more specifically talked about in Attachment University.

The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy - following in the footsteps of Positive Psychology, methods are used here for couples that are in close connection already, not having high distress. Nurturing positive strengths is possible when the couple is able to listen to each other.

The John Gottman Institute - clear consistent communication, goal setting, and bids or reaches for connection are stressed here. This is also used for couples that like communication flowcharts and development of skillsets for communicating effectively.

Dr. Sue Johnson and Emotionally Focused Therapy - you will experience a very similar set of training tools as EFT provides. The biology of emotion, and the attunement of connection are emphasized.

Dr. Harville Hendrix – Imago Therapy - the childhood and its relation to adult present time experience is stressed. Needs are looked at in detail. One strong focus here will be how couples weaponize their past traumas and childhoods against each other. Couples that are ready for Imago training are usually not in high distress.

Dr. Esther Perel - one area of focus is with high functioning couples that area able to hear each other's desires. Desire as it relates to adult tention and anxiety will be examined. Polarity, a gentler version than the David Deida version, will be utilized. Success is achieved when individual healing and couples communication keeps strong desire alive.

Yes! If your partner does not join, and you feel that is an indicator of distress in your relationship, then skills can be learned about how to discuss this with your partner. We so often go back and forth with frustrations, criticism and defensiveness. Learning how to express your concerns to your partner is a great skill we will work on in this Lab. And your partner always gets in at no extra charge when ready, so one day he/she might feel welcomed to show up.

Singles, couples, couples in turmoil, singles processing the ending of relationship. Vulnerability used in all places here to understand how to approach your emotion.