Attunement
Attunement
When your relationship is stressed, you feel that something is just off. Remember the ease when you first met? There was no need for communication training. In Core Skills Attunement we bring you right back to knowing how to create that safety and good will again towards your partner. It happens in seconds with the right words and the right tone.
You will learn:
ACCESSIBILITY
Will you be there for me?
RESPONSIVENESS
Can I rely on you?
ENGAGEMENT
Do I matter to you?


You are hands down the best person that has ever come into my life! I have lived so much deep pain and a broken heavy heart for a huge part of what should be the most enjoyable time in my life. It's even impacted my health and ability to enjoy myself or even smile some days. No one has ever given me the gift of immediate relief like this as you have (because I'll be able to find the answers I need to move forward in my life for the first time). You're a true healer who knows how to teach and guide. You have a heart of gold. I can't wait to rave about you to Jacque as you're often the topic of our conversations, as she has been telling me to come see you for a while now. See you soon.

-- JESSICA FINN

Team
Team
You know what the word team means, right? Well I am talking about what happens in relationship at the moment you are both triggered at the same time, and your needs and stories are in direct opposition. To stay in connection requires a team-building emotional effort, together.
You will learn:
THE DOUBLE BIND
Same moment, two stories.
THE SLOW DOWN
Move the focus within.
THE REAL ENEMY
The pattern, not each other.


I want to nominate you, Derek, to teach emotional intelligence to every single child in our nation. So be it. Get on it. It's a train wreck out there.

-- ELIZABETH MORIARTY

Differentiation
Differentiation
Your childhood, all your previous relationships and your current relationship all stimulate deep experiences and memories inside you. But the deepest healing takes place when this relationship is properly used to heal your past. The past moment is not happening now, and you will learn to notice and make sense of the difference.
You will learn:
CHILDHOOD
When to shift attention.
NOW
The heart doesn't know time.
LATER
Relate future worry to now.


We'd been to 4 therapists. What Derek did differently was make eye contact with my husband, and they both had tears in their eyes. I bet they teach therapists in school to not do this. It's the moment that changed our marriage. He's our paid professional and he's in tears with us. I've never seen my husband cry in 9 years. Derek modeled how to be close to me, by being close to me, and showing Shane how.

-- LUCY SMITH

Double Bind
Double Bind
The understanding of what happens when you're both irritated or hurt at the same moment is required to prevent breakup/divorce. If you hurt each other's feelings without repair you will lose relationship resillience and it will eventually catch up with you. It always does.
You will learn:
5 SECONDS
To see both triggers.
RESPONSIBILITY
Both do the heavy lifting.
SOFTENING EVENT
Interrupt the pattern.


Derek was "with" my honey and me on New Years Eve. Not in body but in spirit as we went to a deep vulnerable place and often brought "what Derek said" into our conversation and even reaching for our phones to read a meme or another brilliant message that we had saved. When it comes time for couples work - Derek will be the go to. I share him with everyone and suggest that others follow him. We love you Derek!

-- Laura Schneider

Weaponizing
Weaponizing
You know what information couples use against each other? Everything. So many of us are sophisticated with our self help learning, with all the therapy we've done. Give me a couple that's done a Non-Violent-Communication workshop and I'll give you a couple that's arguing about it.
You will learn:
BLAME CHILDHOOD
Couples use this to blame.
ACTING LIKE PARENTS
Harmful parent comparison.
HUMILITY
Wait for a response.


Hey Derek, I just started following you recently through my gf and feel compelled to reach out and say your trainings have honestly been one of the brightest spots of my day these past few weeks, and have made a tangible and valuable difference in my relationship. Funny enough, I actually just proposed to my girlfriend and she said yes, and I sincerely feel like your work influenced my ability to feel like that lifelong union was possible.

-- PAUL STAVROPOULOS

Intention
Intention
You must know each other's intentions. And these get confusing. The higher the distress, the more you both don't know what the fight is about. You might fight about money, or sex, but the real fight is that it's not safe to discuss money, or sex, in the first place.
You will learn:
SLOW DOWN
Starting point to find truth.
CLARITY
Do you both understand?
AGREEMENT
Agree to work together?


Derek’s work is ahead of most humans, on the frontier of how relating “should” be. Which is to be who we are, our SOUL, our hearts. Connecting from this place. Me and H recently had a call with Derek and since then it’s been a paradigm shift for us. We are still on our healing journey together and its helping us feel into what our intentions are.

-- CINDY MANIT

Emotional Signals
Emotional Signals
Even if I feel I shared my authentic truth, and that I shared it gently, your experience is part of the equation of what has occurred between us. When I sent you emotional information, it is one of two things: clear, or scrambled. Human relating is difficult. It's often scrambled. Learn to clarify.
You will learn:
I
My clarity on what I feel.
YOU
Your clarity on my share.
US
Our clarity combined.


Derek, my bags were packed last night, and I was going to stay at a hotel, and my wife begged me to login to start your Marriage 2.0 course. We watched lesson 1, then lesson 2, and something clicked in me. I got it. I'd been fighting in the exact ways you said I would if I was not connected to my heart. I almost said the same words verbatim that were in your video. Unbelievable. We fell asleep in our hammock and woke up 9 1/2 hours later. We've had over 50 hours of therapy and workshops and nothing has gotten in, until your humility, grace and strength entered our world.

-- MENSHE AND PAULO

Mutual Support and Cooperation
Mutual Support and Cooperation
A conflict will begin with couples in 3 to 5 seconds. There's a practice to learn to know as soon as you can what the goal is for a conversation. If it's too solve the thing, you will lose each other. If it's to bring the feeling of support, you will connect.
You will learn:
DETAILS
Details interrupt connection.
SEPARATE STORIES
Keeps us distant.
TOGETHER
From safety to creativity.


Derek, you have been an answer to our prayers. The main difference between you and other counselors is the change has been sustained as we know what to do now when we get in a rut. We are crafting a new life that we never imagined possible. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for your teachings and for being the safe place we both needed.

-- LEE & CARRIE DEWEY
Relationship Lab Desktop Mobile
DEREK HART

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

The Relationship Lab

Vulnerability is the key

to relationship success.

And it's not taught anywhere.

21 phrases that end every argument

The only proven way to restore a marriage

Until now.

Learn the art of what makes you loveable.

DEREK HART

The Relationship Lab

The Relationship Lab

The Relationship Lab

Vulnerability is the key

Vulnerability is the key

Vulnerability is the key

to relationship success.

to relationship success.

to relationship success.

And it's not taught anywhere.

And it's not taught anywhere.

And it's not taught anywhere.

Until now.

Learn the art of what makes you loveable.

Relationship Lab Tablet
DEREK HART

The Relationship Lab

Vulnerability is the key

to relationship success.

And it's not taught anywhere.

Until now.

Learn the art of what makes you loveable.

21 phrases that end every argument

The only proven way to restore a marriage

Relationship Lab Points
Witness How Couples Come Back Into Connection

Build the proper skillset. Learn from live couples sessions. Recognize how vulnerability secures their relationship.

THEN PRACTICE CONNECTION EXERCISES WITH OTHERS DURING OUR LIVE SESSIONS

Relationship advice usually doesn’t help. Your loved ones mean well, and miss the mark entirely. Together we will accomplish the delicate improvisation that is necessary to understand how to bring two people, that are upset with each other, back to love.

Vulnerability

There is a hidden safety level in every relationship that determines if it's safe to take a risk. Learn how to see it clearly.

Emotion

Emotion is the messenger of love. Understand the emotional signals you send, and the ones sent back to you.

Attachment Style

Become clear if you protest to feel understood, withdraw and go away, or a little of both.

Reactivity

Understand what happens at the exact moment someone hurts you or steps over your boundaries.

Header
MOST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
WON'T HELP YOU.
I WANT TO GIVE YOU THE
EXACT STEPS TO KNOW...
how your predictable struggle
can be interrupted.
MOST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WON'T HELP YOU.
I WANT TO GIVE YOU THE EXACT STEPS TO KNOW...
how your predictable struggle can be interrupted.

Does this happen?

Yelling or blaming?

Arguing with no repair?

Creating the exact same fights?

Invalidating each other?

Criticizing or feeling criticized?

Walking on eggshells?

Barely listen to each other?

Then stop doing this:

Analyzing your partner's flaws.

Coaching your partner.

Trying to make them feel better.

Solving problems by arguing details.

Trying to be heard over and over.

Explaining your point over and over.

Calling them avoidant or anxious.

Relationship Lab What's Included
What's Included:
Relationship Lab Online Event
Twice Per Month Live Relationship Lab
Derek will take couples from distress back to closeness. Then questions and answers will be asked, for you to answer with others in your private zoom rooms. Then we all deepen with large group sharing. This is your relationship lab.
Twice Per Month Live Relationship Lab
Derek will take couples from distress back to closeness. Then questions and answers will be asked, for you to answer with others in your private zoom rooms. Then we all deepen with large group sharing. This is your relationship lab.
Courses
All Online Courses
Immediate Unlimited Access To All Online Courses From Derek's Vault Over The Last 10 Years, Plus Early Access To All Live Couples Training Sessions.
0 Courses
0 Videos
0 Lessons
All Online Courses
Immediate Unlimited Access To All Online Courses From Derek's Vault Over The Last 10 Years, Plus Early Access To All Live Couples Training Sessions.
0 Courses
0 Videos
0 Lessons
0 Courses
0 Videos
0 Lessons
Community
Your Community
Events will be planned. Connections will be made. Our live meetings are only the start of the relationships you will build here. A group dedicated to getting better at vulnerability.
Office hours Q&A
Deep empathic support
Faster clarity for you
Your Community
Events will be planned. Connections will be made. Our live meetings are only the start of the relationships you will build here. A group dedicated to getting better at vulnerability.
Office hours Q&A
Deep empathic support
Faster clarity for you
Your Community
Events will be planned. Connections will be made. Our live meetings are only the start of the relationships you will build here. A group dedicated to getting better at vulnerability.
Office hours Q&A
Deep empathic support
Faster clarity for you
Relationship Lab Live Invites
Exclusive Invite List
Access to in-person groups is only given to members.
4-hour connection evenings
8 couples group sessions
Expert guest teacher days
Full day vulnerability trainings
Weekend couples rebuilding retreats
Exclusive Invite List
Access to in-person groups is only given to members.
4-hour connection evenings
8 couples group sessions
Expert guest teacher days
Full day vulnerability trainings
Weekend couples rebuilding retreats
Exclusive Invite List
Access to in-person groups is only given to members.
4-hour connection evenings
8 couples group sessions
Expert guest teacher days
Full day vulnerability trainings
Weekend couples rebuilding retreats
Relationship Lab Affiliate Program
Affilitate Program

You get a private link

Refer your favorite people

Continuous residual payments

Full time income potential

Build your trusting community

Affilitate Program

You get a private link

Refer your favorite people

Continuous residual payments

Full time income potential

Build your trusting community

Affilitate Program

You get a private link

Refer your favorite people

Continuous residual payments

Full time income potential

Build your trusting community

Testimonials
❤️ I feel her acceptance.
Danielle & Mike discuss what it
was like working with Derek.
🌹 Mike can digest my love.