Practitioner Page Desktop Mobile
DEREK HART

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

Welcome To Attachment University

21 phrases that end every argument

The only proven way to restore a marriage

Bi-Monthly Live Sessions

Vulnerability
Stage One Primary Emotion
Stage Two Secondary Emotion
Emotional Signals
Inward Emotional Contact
Interpersonal Emotional Contact
Coping Mechanisms
Anxious Attachment Strategy
Avoidant Attachment Strategy
Hybrid Attachment Strategy
Secure Attachment Strategy
The Biology Of Emotion
Emotions And Meaning Making
Criticizer Softening Event
Withdrawer Re-engagement Event
Talking For Them In First Person
Double Bind
Negative Interaction Cycle
Attachment Injury
Countertransference
Loaning Your Limbic System
Incompatibility
Counselor Revealing
Rigid To Flexible Coping
Contraindications For Couples Work
Pre-Couples Counseling
Faster Cognitive Talking
Slow And Low Emotional Talking
Nugget Of The Story
De-escalation, Safety, Emotional Danger
Trauma And Slicing It Thinner
Blamer Softening
Attachment Fears, Longings and Needs
Empathetic Conjecture
Restructuring Interactions
Humility, Admission Of Not Knowing
Evocative Heightening Of Emotion
Watching Two At Once
Holding Recognized Pain Together
Counselor As Temporary Attachment Figure
Magnitude Of Pain, Revisiting Repair
Slow Down Turn Cognitive Element Into Emotion
Counselor Included As Imperfect
Explain Interruption Important Couple's Words
Pattern As Enemy, Not Each Other
Correct Counselor Strengthens Couple Alliance
New Emotional Experience, New Interaction
No Secrets, Counselor Has No Hidden Curtain
Counselor Enticed Into Debate
DEREK HART

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

Welcome To Attachment University

Bi-Monthly Live Sessions

Vulnerability
Stage One Primary Emotion
Stage Two Secondary Emotion
Emotional Signals
Inward Emotional Contact
Interpersonal Emotional Contact
Coping Mechanisms
Anxious Attachment Strategy
Avoidant Attachment Strategy
Hybrid Attachment Strategy
Secure Attachment Strategy
The Biology Of Emotion
Emotions And Meaning Making
Criticizer Softening Event
Withdrawer Re-engagement Event
Talking For Them In First Person
Double Bind
Negative Interaction Cycle
Attachment Injury
Countertransference
Loaning Your Limbic System
Incompatibility
Counselor Revealing
Rigid To Flexible Coping
Contraindications For Couples Work
Pre-Couples Counseling
Faster Cognitive Talking
Slow And Low Emotional Talking
Nugget Of The Story
De-escalation, Safety, Emotional Danger
Trauma And Slicing It Thinner
Blamer Softening
Attachment Fears, Longings and Needs
Empathetic Conjecture
Restructuring Interactions
Humility, Admission Of Not Knowing
Evocative Heightening Of Emotion
Watching Two At Once
Holding Recognized Pain Together
Counselor As Temporary Attachment Figure
Magnitude Of Pain, Revisiting Repair
Slow Down Turn Cognitive Element Into Emotion
Counselor Included As Imperfect
Explain Interruption Important Couple's Words
Pattern As Enemy, Not Each Other
Correct Counselor Strengthens Couple Alliance
New Emotional Experience, New Interaction
No Secrets, Counselor Has No Hidden Curtain
Counselor Enticed Into Debate
Practitioner Page Tablet
DEREK HART

Your online campus that trains you to help couples repair their relationships.

Welcome To Attachment University

Bi-Monthly Live Sessions

Vulnerability
Stage One Primary Emotion
Stage Two Secondary Emotion
Emotional Signals
Inward Emotional Contact
Interpersonal Emotional Contact
Coping Mechanisms
Anxious Attachment Strategy
Avoidant Attachment Strategy
Hybrid Attachment Strategy
Secure Attachment Strategy
The Biology Of Emotion
Emotions And Meaning Making
Criticizer Softening Event
Withdrawer Re-engagement Event
Talking For Them In First Person
Double Bind
Negative Interaction Cycle
Attachment Injury
Countertransference
Loaning Your Limbic System
Incompatibility
Counselor Revealing
Rigid To Flexible Coping
Contraindications For Couples Work
Pre-Couples Counseling
Faster Cognitive Talking
Slow And Low Emotional Talking
Nugget Of The Story
De-escalation, Safety, Emotional Danger
Trauma And Slicing It Thinner
Blamer Softening
Attachment Fears, Longings and Needs
Empathetic Conjecture
Restructuring Interactions
Humility, Admission Of Not Knowing
Evocative Heightening Of Emotion
Watching Two At Once
Holding Recognized Pain Together
Counselor As Temporary Attachment Figure
Magnitude Of Pain, Revisiting Repair
Slow Down Turn Cognitive Element Into Emotion
Counselor Included As Imperfect
Explain Interruption Important Couple's Words
Pattern As Enemy, Not Each Other
Correct Counselor Strengthens Couple Alliance
New Emotional Experience, New Interaction
No Secrets, Counselor Has No Hidden Curtain
Counselor Enticed Into Debate

21 phrases that end every argument

The only proven way to restore a marriage

Practitioner Points
Become A Master Couples Practitioner

Build the proper skillset. Learn from live couples sessions. Recognize how vulnerability secures their relationship.

ATTENTION: THERAPISTS, COACHES AND THOSE WISHING TO DEEPEN THEIR OWN RELATIONSHIPS

There’s a very small body of work that properly shows how to help the distressed couple. The work is expensive and inaccessible to most of us. I will now translate this body of work for you.

You

You're a therapist or coach and want the deep fulfillment of helping couples rebuild their relationships.

Them

Distressed couples don't understand how their emotional signals became scrambled with each other, nor how to reconnect.

Skills

They need your expertise to make sense of their emotions; gain the confidence to properly guide them.

Community

Join our community of practitioners so you can evolve your understanding of attachment and help couples become secure.

Shawn & Stacy
Image is not available
Shawn & Stacy Model The Solution
Will they call off their marriage because her bachelorette party was at a male strip club? The only thing that restores the emotional safety in relationship is what you witness here, Shawn courageously processing his fears with Stacy, vulnerably, with no blame. Revealing his insecure feelings is the strength, not the weakness.
Toria & Boris
Image is not available
Toria & Boris
The couple explains their struggle, but sends each other scrambled emotional signals. Derek interprets their struggle for them. He slowly expresses what Boris experiences, while keeping an eye on helping Toria accept his pain. Note her very real compassion at the end, her head nodding. That’s emotional attunement, even though she has not yet been heard. We do this in small slices, which rebuilds their trust.
Jen & Max
Image is not available
Jen & Max
Notice that Derek is continuously watching for emotion. It's immediately on her face. She is in pain, and needs to be witnessed, specifically by her partner. If the counselor asked other questions, note how this would take her away from emotion, into left brain thinking. The human heart does not understand most of the human story. It understands fear, sadness, yearning and joy, and needs just a little bit of the meaning the person gives to the hurt.
Lee & Carrie
Image is not available
Lee & Carrie
Derek enhances Carrie's unexpressed emotions by including a younger version of herself. Then he helps her distinguish between 51 year old Carrie and 5 year old Carrie, so she can directly have more power over her reactivity. Notice the respect for the 5 year old. And doing this with Lee's compassion makes this interpersonal, as they both hold her pain. They are directly inside the solution to reconnect.
Practitioner What's Included
What's Included:
Courses
All Online Courses
Immediate Unlimited Access To All Online Courses From Derek's Vault Over The Last 10 Years, Plus Early Access To All Live Couples Training Sessions.
0 Courses
0 Videos
0 Lessons
All Online Courses
Immediate Unlimited Access To All Online Courses From Derek's Vault Over The Last 10 Years, Plus Early Access To All Live Couples Training Sessions.
0 Courses
0 Videos
0 Lessons
0 Courses
0 Videos
0 Lessons
Practitioner Training
Twice Per Month Live Couples Training Sessions
Join the most extensive worldwide couples attachment training. Work with couples live and break apart sessions. Learn attachment theory with couples, the only scientifically studied way to help the distressed couple rebuild their connection.
Understand the parts of the couples' story that are relevant to creating secure attachment.
Twice Per Month Live Couples Training Sessions
Join the most extensive worldwide couples attachment training. Work with couples live and break apart sessions. Learn attachment theory with couples, the only scientifically studied way to help the distressed couple rebuild their connection.
Understand the parts of the couples' story that are relevant to creating secure attachment.
Understand the parts of the couples' story that are relevant to creating secure attachment.
Community
Your Community Of Colleagues
You are now part of a growing collective wisdom. No questions will go unanswered regarding intimacy and closeness. As you help your clients, or even friends and family with their relationships, you come to the table equipped with all new capabilities.
Safe, caring online platform for collaboration
Refill your tank with community support
Breakout zoom rooms build your connections
Your Community Of Colleagues
You are now part of a growing collective wisdom. No questions will go unanswered regarding intimacy and closeness. As you help your clients, or even friends and family with their relationships, you come to the table equipped with all new capabilities.
Safe, caring online platform for collaboration
Refill your tank with community support
Breakout zoom rooms build your connections
Safe, caring online platform for collaboration
Refill your tank with community support
Breakout zoom rooms build your connections
Supervision Groups
Private Invitation To SuperviseLab™ When You're Ready For Couples Supervision
Take your couples mastery to the next level with small Supervision Groups.
Breakdown client's attachment strategies
Comprehend couple's emotional capabilities
Assess for couple incompability
Assess for inability to access emotion
De-escalate high-conflict couples
Private Invitation To SuperviseLab™ When You're Ready For Couples Supervision
Take your couples mastery to the next level with small Supervision Groups.
Breakdown client's attachment strategies
Comprehend couple's emotional capabilities
Assess for couple incompability
Assess for inability to access emotion
De-escalate high-conflict couples
Breakdown client's attachment strategies
Comprehend couple's emotional capabilities
Assess for couple incompability
Assess for inability to access emotion
De-escalate high-conflict couples
QuickLab Short Clips
QuickLab™ Short Clips
Short clips that give immediate attachment-based solutions to the most relevant topics couples face every day.
What does the couple do about
parenting differences?
jealousy?
emotional affairs?
porn addiction?
infidelity/cheating?
substance addiction?
preoccupation with social media?
wanting to open up the relationship?
trust issues?
sexual incompatibility?
ongoing criticism?
threats to leave the relationship?
lack of sexual chemistry?
rage and anger?
constant debating?
lack of empathy?
miscommunication?
differences with polyamory/monogamy?
overspending?
sarcasm?
unclear agreements?
repeated broken agreements?
too much time alone?
boredom with each other?
not enough time together?
too much blame?
opinions turning to fights?
walking on eggshells?
successfully navigating polyamory?
too much reactivity?
lack of responsiveness?
feeling happier alone?
overwhelm in other areas?
competing family/friend attachments?
zero appreciation/mostly criticism?
over involvement/enmeshment?
children leaving the nest?
out of balance giving?
controlling behavior?
gaslighting behavior?
going to bed still hurt?
keeping score/interactional relating?
sharing outside sexual interests?
QuickLab™ Short Clips
Short clips that give immediate attachment-based solutions to the most relevant topics couples face every day.
What does the couple do about
parenting differences?
jealousy?
emotional affairs?
porn addiction?
infidelity/cheating?
substance addiction?
preoccupation with social media?
wanting to open up the relationship?
trust issues?
sexual incompatibility?
ongoing criticism?
threats to leave the relationship?
lack of sexual chemistry?
rage and anger?
constant debating?
lack of empathy?
miscommunication?
differences with polyamory/monogamy?
overspending?
sarcasm?
unclear agreements?
repeated broken agreements?
too much time alone?
boredom with each other?
not enough time together?
too much blame?
opinions turning to fights?
walking on eggshells?
successfully navigating polyamory?
too much reactivity?
lack of responsiveness?
feeling happier alone?
overwhelm in other areas?
competing family/friend attachments?
zero appreciation/mostly criticism?
over involvement/enmeshment?
children leaving the nest?
out of balance giving?
controlling behavior?
gaslighting behavior?
going to bed still hurt?
keeping score/interactional relating?
sharing outside sexual interests?
What does the couple do about
parenting differences?
jealousy?
emotional affairs?
porn addiction?
infidelity/cheating?
substance addiction?
preoccupation with social media?
wanting to open up the relationship?
trust issues?
sexual incompatibility?
ongoing criticism?
threats to leave the relationship?
lack of sexual chemistry?
rage and anger?
constant debating?
lack of empathy?
miscommunication?
differences with polyamory/monogamy?
overspending?
sarcasm?
unclear agreements?
repeated broken agreements?
too much time alone?
boredom with each other?
not enough time together?
too much blame?
opinions turning to fights?
walking on eggshells?
successfully navigating polyamory?
too much reactivity?
lack of responsiveness?
feeling happier alone?
overwhelm in other areas?
competing family/friend attachments?
zero appreciation/mostly criticism?
over involvement/enmeshment?
children leaving the nest?
out of balance giving?
controlling behavior?
gaslighting behavior?
going to bed still hurt?
keeping score/interactional relating?
sharing outside sexual interests?
Practitioner Couple
7 steps when a couple is already securely attached

1. The Problem

2. Clarification

3. Imagine